This article was published in The Circle Magazine’s premier issue, September 2021. The Circle’s mission is to “gather women from every walk of life to share in what unites us as well as what makes us unique; our narratives, our art, our culture and our passions.” The Circle is a keepsake periodical collection of narratives, art, poetry, photography, and journal pages— Like the women it celebrates, it is truly beautiful inside and out  A portion of the proceeds from every copy of the Fall/Winter 2021 issue purchased is being generously donated to Room Redux.  Thank you, The Circle!

Ideally, every person’s childhood would be filled with happiness, learning, lots of fun, and a safe environment. Unfortunately, that is not every child’s experience. When I first met “V”, she was extremely emotional when she spoke about the abuse of her “little daughter”. Her 8 year old had been sexually abused in her own room by her adult half-brother for months. The abuse ceased when a younger sister walked into her room during an abusive episode. Her older brother, the perpetrator, was now out of the house, in jail, and out of the picture; however, the little girl was terrified to be in her room alone, especially at night. She began sleeping with her parents, her grades fell, and she stopped having friends over. She rarely ate and was beginning to regress in regard to her speech and social skills. Fear and depression set in and she insisted that her family not decorate for Christmas that year. Her parents placed her into counseling where she began receiving trauma-informed play therapy. She began to show signs of healing from the abuse over several sessions but she still would not sleep in her room. It was then that her counselor reached out to Room Redux. Because of confidentiality concerns, the counselor talked to the girl’s parents to obtain permission to speak to us. It was clear that this girl (and her family) deserved a fresh start… a Room Transformation.

Because a child’s mind begins with their brain and neural development, developmental disruptions such as neglect, emotional, psychological, phsyical, verbal, and sexual abuse can result in signigicant consequences such as cognitive impairments. Children who have faced adverse childhood experiences (ACES) are more likely to suffer from eating disorders, physical ailments such as heart disease or diabetes, and poor academic and social achievement. Children who have been sexually abused often have disruptive relationships as they emerge into adulthood. They may self-harm and oftentimes become perpetrators of abuse themselves.

Nationwide, the statistics are staggering. One billion children worldwide have experienced physical, sexual or emotional violence or neglect in the past year. This statistic is based only on the incidents that have been reported.

Familial and societal support can help shape the way the child feels about him or herself. One of the goals of Room Redux is to show the child and their family that the world is not always such a scary place and that they are worthy and cared about by people who don’t even know them and expect nothing from them. Shame and guilt often engulf the life of a child who has faced abuse. In order to help them continue to heal we must consistently and vigorously work to eliminate the humiliation and culpability they feel. It is important for us to be able to change the trajectory of these children’s lives. Room Redux does this through Room Transformations. Once a referral is made, we assess the child’s room when he or she is away from the house. We have an extensive list of questions we ask the parent or caregiver such as, “What are her favorite colors? What colors does she dislike?”; “What are his hobbies?”; “What would he like in his room… TV? Game system? Mini fridge?” We measure, take photos, and start to get a design plan together. We give the Room Transformation a name and then we shop! Room Redux relies on Room Transformation sponsors and donors. Like shopping? Check out each chapter’s Amazon Smile Wishlist! Room Transformation Day is the best! We get to the home when the child has either left for school or the family has been sent on an outing. All volunteers have background checks and, regardless of their skill level, start transforming the child or children’s rooms. At the end of the day, we leave and the child comes home to a brand new room.. Their very own sanctuary. Every room is specifically designed for that particular child even down to the therapeutic tools we place in the room. Repositioning the furniture, especially the bed, has a profound effect on how the child feels in the room. Feedback has been consistently positive and has included the entire family’s views of feeling as if they have an advocate in Room Redux.

“V’s” little daughter was overwhelmed with adoration of her new room. According to her mother, she now feels safe and loves to have friends over. She has slept in her own room every single night for the past three years. The family finally even decorated when Christmas came around.

If you have a heart to help children who have faced abuse, whether through donating, volunteering or starting a chapter in your area, please visit RoomRedux.org or email volunteer@roomredux.org. As of the writing of this article, Room Redux has transformed 65 rooms and now serves children in three countries and continues to spread nationally and globally.

Susie Vybiral, Dr. Honoris Causa (Psychology, UNRS)
CEO/Founder Room Redux